Herein Follow my 25 theses
In the tradition of Martin Luther's seminal 95 Theses, which he nailed to the door of a Catholic church to spark the protestant reformation, I hereby declare this list to be my best and most humble attempt to call for change within the American Church.
Note that the use of the word "church" which follows herein contains two distinct meanings. In the case where I capitalize it, I refer to the worldwide body of believers. In the case where it is lowercase, it refers to the institutions of organized religion.
1. A church is not a business. The goal of a church's leadership structure is to provide insightful exegesis and develop the faith and doctrinal understanding of its parishioners, never to grow simply for the sake of numerical growth.
2. Building projects are the product of churches who develop large business models and maintain tremendous overhead costs. Therefore, any church who embarks on one is inherently suspect.
3. A Church is a body of believers; it is not an organization, it is not comprised of paid staff members, and it is not a brand name controlled by its founding pastor.
4. Legalism about any supposed "no-no" in the bible will not be tolerated from any church member, whether paid staff or congregation member.
5. The Church shall not support any political party or candidate. The eternal message of Jesus Christ shall not be cheapened or affixed with any political label of temporal, human invention.
6. "Christian dating" is stupid. The idea that the Church has any right to implicate themselves in the lives of two grown adults, with the possible exception of cases where bonafide and documented abuse has occurred, is laughable.
7. Any church staff member or congregation member who implicates themselves in the personal lives of adult members of the congregation without invitation will be subject to the labels of "self-righteous" and "meddlesome," and their subsequent exegesis will be labeled as suspect.
8. Anyone who acts irrationally happy at all times and attempts to convince me that the "joy of Jesus" is their constant companion will be ignored. If they continue to maintain their irrational happiness, they will be branded mentally insane.
9. Slaps will be handed out liberally to anyone who tries to convince me that the church, and not the Bible, is the ultimate authority in my life.
10. Third-world churches shall at all times be the paradigm by which first-world churches are judged. A third-world church pastor seeks nothing in life other than the well-being of his congregation. If a first-world pastor places anything ahead of the flock's well-being, s/he shall be canned.
11. A house church is the ideal form of corporate worship and gathering. Not only is it thoroughly biblical, it also has the advantage of preventing large, clique-y congregations, and generally negates the possibility of a large leadership structure with a huge operational budget.
12. Simplicity was always the model of the early Church. Although times and circumstances have changed, the early Church was the closest model of biblical Christianity which has ever existed, and therefore is to be emulated as much as humanly possible.
13. Matthew 24:9-13 explicitly states that the Church will suffer global, physical persecution before any form of rapture will ever occur. Any church that is not actively preparing its believers to encounter hardship and plan accordingly shall be branded as a self-help group which promotes feel-good nonsense.
14. Matthew 24 is a chapter of the bible which needs to be interpreted literally. Jesus was addressing his disciples, whom he promised he would not speak to in riddles. Because this is the case, and based on some cursory correlation with 2 Thessalonians and Daniel, the rapture will most likely not occur until at least the middle of the Great Tribulation.
15. Because we as a Church will likely have to endure some part of the tribulation, it is recommended that all churches devote themselves as much as possible to the concepts of recognizing false prophets and persevering through hardship.
16. With the inevitable decline of worldwide tolerance for Christianity, we can safely assume that churches in the U.S. will eventually lose their 501(c)(3) tax exemption and any legal protections it provides. Therefore, conventional church models should be abandoned in favor of small, mobile cells.
17. 2 Thessalonians also refers to a "great falling away" which will take place before the rapture. In order to prevent people from abandoning their faith in the face of persecution, great pains must be taken to ensure believers everywhere understand the real and actual cost of following Jesus Christ.
18. A bible is a luxury some people in other countries cannot legally have. Read it. Memorize it. Prepare for the possibility that you too may one day face the same problem.
19. Buy a gun. If that sounds a little too violent and paranoid to you, then don't. Don't call me when they come for you though.
20. Don't go looking for trouble.
21. Don't be afraid.
22. It's all part of the plan.
23. It may be equally important how we die as it is how we live.
24. Jesus is still the way the truth and the life, and nobody comes to the Father except through him.
25. I'm officially announcing the foundation of The Council. It is a small, tight-knit community of believers who meet regularly in homes and restaurants to discuss the deeper doctrines of the faith. Our goal is to resemble the early Church as much as possible, and leave behind the traditional model of doing church. If this is something that interests you, please get in touch.
2. Building projects are the product of churches who develop large business models and maintain tremendous overhead costs. Therefore, any church who embarks on one is inherently suspect.
3. A Church is a body of believers; it is not an organization, it is not comprised of paid staff members, and it is not a brand name controlled by its founding pastor.
4. Legalism about any supposed "no-no" in the bible will not be tolerated from any church member, whether paid staff or congregation member.
5. The Church shall not support any political party or candidate. The eternal message of Jesus Christ shall not be cheapened or affixed with any political label of temporal, human invention.
6. "Christian dating" is stupid. The idea that the Church has any right to implicate themselves in the lives of two grown adults, with the possible exception of cases where bonafide and documented abuse has occurred, is laughable.
7. Any church staff member or congregation member who implicates themselves in the personal lives of adult members of the congregation without invitation will be subject to the labels of "self-righteous" and "meddlesome," and their subsequent exegesis will be labeled as suspect.
8. Anyone who acts irrationally happy at all times and attempts to convince me that the "joy of Jesus" is their constant companion will be ignored. If they continue to maintain their irrational happiness, they will be branded mentally insane.
9. Slaps will be handed out liberally to anyone who tries to convince me that the church, and not the Bible, is the ultimate authority in my life.
10. Third-world churches shall at all times be the paradigm by which first-world churches are judged. A third-world church pastor seeks nothing in life other than the well-being of his congregation. If a first-world pastor places anything ahead of the flock's well-being, s/he shall be canned.
11. A house church is the ideal form of corporate worship and gathering. Not only is it thoroughly biblical, it also has the advantage of preventing large, clique-y congregations, and generally negates the possibility of a large leadership structure with a huge operational budget.
12. Simplicity was always the model of the early Church. Although times and circumstances have changed, the early Church was the closest model of biblical Christianity which has ever existed, and therefore is to be emulated as much as humanly possible.
13. Matthew 24:9-13 explicitly states that the Church will suffer global, physical persecution before any form of rapture will ever occur. Any church that is not actively preparing its believers to encounter hardship and plan accordingly shall be branded as a self-help group which promotes feel-good nonsense.
14. Matthew 24 is a chapter of the bible which needs to be interpreted literally. Jesus was addressing his disciples, whom he promised he would not speak to in riddles. Because this is the case, and based on some cursory correlation with 2 Thessalonians and Daniel, the rapture will most likely not occur until at least the middle of the Great Tribulation.
15. Because we as a Church will likely have to endure some part of the tribulation, it is recommended that all churches devote themselves as much as possible to the concepts of recognizing false prophets and persevering through hardship.
16. With the inevitable decline of worldwide tolerance for Christianity, we can safely assume that churches in the U.S. will eventually lose their 501(c)(3) tax exemption and any legal protections it provides. Therefore, conventional church models should be abandoned in favor of small, mobile cells.
17. 2 Thessalonians also refers to a "great falling away" which will take place before the rapture. In order to prevent people from abandoning their faith in the face of persecution, great pains must be taken to ensure believers everywhere understand the real and actual cost of following Jesus Christ.
18. A bible is a luxury some people in other countries cannot legally have. Read it. Memorize it. Prepare for the possibility that you too may one day face the same problem.
19. Buy a gun. If that sounds a little too violent and paranoid to you, then don't. Don't call me when they come for you though.
20. Don't go looking for trouble.
21. Don't be afraid.
22. It's all part of the plan.
23. It may be equally important how we die as it is how we live.
24. Jesus is still the way the truth and the life, and nobody comes to the Father except through him.
25. I'm officially announcing the foundation of The Council. It is a small, tight-knit community of believers who meet regularly in homes and restaurants to discuss the deeper doctrines of the faith. Our goal is to resemble the early Church as much as possible, and leave behind the traditional model of doing church. If this is something that interests you, please get in touch.