The simple truth is, that rosy relationship I wrote about in several previous posts ended in flaming failure. While this by itself is not altogether revolutionary in the history of man, it showed me just how quickly one's hopes can be dashed to pieces, if that person is inclined to believe that God's perfect plan means every circumstance which comes into your life is there for a special purpose, and God will never lead you down a dead-end path. What I failed to be honest with myself about, is that in spite of all the happy times we had together, there were, in fact, some glaring signs that this was not a healthy and/or beneficial relationship.
Even though our very first act as a newly-minted couple was to pray and ask God to guide us on our journey together, the fact is we both said and did many things over our short few months together which were frankly very un-Godly. While it is certainly true that nobody is perfect, and an astute believer would also be quick to point out that maybe God was guiding us, just not towards each other, the fact remains that we both stayed in an at-times miserable relationship much longer than we should have, because we believed that somehow God had fated us to meet and get together.
In the wake of the breakup, I had plenty of time to sit by myself and carefully review every aspect of the relationship, to see if perhaps there was some clear guidance from God which I had failed to hear, or some indication that my faith was not as strong as it should have been in order to be a good spiritual leader. After reviewing my prayer journal, and carefully examining all my memories of the directions I believed I was hearing from God, I can only conclude that he did, in fact, direct our paths to cross, and that he was, in fact, reassuring me constantly throughout the precarious times to stay faithful to his purpose. In a manner of speaking, it could be said that I blindly trusted and followed God, and he led me face-first into a brick wall.
This brings me to the ultimate point of my post: I think that we as Christians tend to be a bit too fatalistic when it comes to the events of our life, and we tend to ascribe far more significance to many everyday events than they may actually have. While I'm certain I'm going out on a limb here, which may invite a great deal of debate and criticism, please understand me carefully: God is sovereign, and his plans are perfect. His knowledge is limitless, and therefore he knows all the events of our lives before even one day of that life has been lived. That being said, he did also give you a rational, thinking mind, and the ability to exercise your own judgment.
Too many Christians go through life casting fearful glances at the sky as they make every move, praying that God will direct them in even the simplest of tasks, like picking which clothes to wear in the morning. While I'm certain that God has a good, pleasing, and perfect will which he wants us to be able to discern (Rom. 12:2), the fact is that, according to Philippians 2:13, our will is in some sense merely an extension of God's will. In my mind, that means that if you're capable of deciding an issue for yourself, you should do so. Sometimes I think we're so heavenly minded that we're no earthly good, meaning we simply forget to exercise our own common sense, which God gave us.
We humans are very fragile, fallible creatures. I would never presume to say that our will and our knowledge in any way trumps God's. Nevertheless, we are also not robots. If God wanted little minions who only acted when bidden to do so, he would have been content to simply create more angels and leave humanity's blueprint lying on the drawing board.
If you're struggling with the concept of finding your soulmate, relax. The fact is, any person you choose to settle down with will in a sense be perfect for you, because you have selected them based on your own deductive reasoning and therefore can live confidently with your decision. If, on the other hand, you're nervously looking around for God to drop "the one" in your lap, you'll likely pass up several promising opportunities out of some misguided fear that you're missing out on God's best for you. Or worse, you may hang on too tightly to someone who is NOT God's best for you, simply because you think the stars aligned in order to bring the two of you together.