It really bothers me that “manhood” in its traditional sense is becoming a dying way of life. I’m well aware that I’m not alone in this lament for the lost art of manliness and the desire to recapture it, but nevertheless I believe it’s something that we as a culture are starting to value less and less, and some even attack it as a “reinforcement of antiquated gender roles.”
I recently witnessed an event which, although it was minor, prompted me to want to remind the men out there it’s time to stop acting like boys, and equally importantly, it’s time to stop tolerating those around us who do.
I recently witnessed an event which, although it was minor, prompted me to want to remind the men out there it’s time to stop acting like boys, and equally importantly, it’s time to stop tolerating those around us who do.
This incident is admittedly relatively minor, but it planted the seeds of this idea in my mind. As I was sitting in my car at a stop light, I happened to glance in the rearview, and noticed a guy and a girl sitting in the car behind me. The dude was obviously having a good joke at the expense of his girl, because he was pointing and laughing at her, and then started punching her in the arm repeatedly like she was just another one of his bros. She obviously was accustomed to it, as she simply laughed it off and continued the conversation. This is not a soapbox about violence against women. What this is is an indictment of dudes everywhere who find it acceptable to treat their female friends or significant others like she’s a “bro”. I grew up with a female cousin who was the ONLY girl out of nine grandchildren on my mom’s side of the family. While she certainly grew up tough as nails because of her three brothers and her dad, she also developed a natural intolerance for male BS. Not only does she carry herself with all the confidence and grace of a true lady, she will also slap down any man who refuses to treat her like one. That’s why we as the male cousins all love Becca; she needs little protection from the eight of us, although we’ve been very happy to come together over the years when certain boys needed to be regulated upon.
Your girlfriend is not your bro. Every woman at her core wants to be thought of and treated like two great women of the Bible: Ruth and Esther. Ruth was a woman of noble character who won the attention of Boaz because of her humble service and steadfast devotion to the people who were most important to her in life. Esther was a beautiful queen who won the respect and favor of her husband by having the boldness to stand up for what she knew was right, even though it might cost her her life. When we rob men and women of the honor their role deserves, we teach our children and our society that it’s ok to devalue people. In a society where everyone is the same, nobody is special. Every true man understands that he’s not looking for a female friend he can watch football with and then make out with. A real man worthy of being respected as a “king” understands that his throne is meaningless without an equally respectable queen who sits right beside him, not at his feet.
We live in a culture of disrespect. It’s no longer fashionable to hold anything or anyone as sacred. While mainstream society cheers this as progress toward gender equality, those of us with a Biblical view of relationships are left to stand on the sidelines and watch as people play catch with a hand grenade. We must remind ourselves and others that to devalue uniqueness takes us one step closer to devaluing humanity as a whole. Evolutionists have often tried to convince me that we’re all just meat-sacks, with no future existence, floating together on a giant cosmic accident known as Earth. If that’s true, then you’re absolutely right; why should we respect anyone or anything? On the other hand, if God did make each and every one of us, as his word says, then we are inherently deserving of respect simply because of who our Father created us to be.
One of the first things my girlfriend was careful to mention to me when the subject of family came up was that her dad happened to have a huge gun collection, and he lived near a large bayou which was perfect for dumping bodies. While it was obviously intended to be a joke (seriously, I hope so) she made a great illustration of what God himself says over and over in scripture, which is that a man who disrespects his wife (or any of God’s daughters, for that matter) is subject to the burning wrath of an angry Father. Just because a girl’s earthly father isn’t around to hold you accountable at all times doesn’t mean that you are free from accountability.
Your girlfriend is not your bro. Every woman at her core wants to be thought of and treated like two great women of the Bible: Ruth and Esther. Ruth was a woman of noble character who won the attention of Boaz because of her humble service and steadfast devotion to the people who were most important to her in life. Esther was a beautiful queen who won the respect and favor of her husband by having the boldness to stand up for what she knew was right, even though it might cost her her life. When we rob men and women of the honor their role deserves, we teach our children and our society that it’s ok to devalue people. In a society where everyone is the same, nobody is special. Every true man understands that he’s not looking for a female friend he can watch football with and then make out with. A real man worthy of being respected as a “king” understands that his throne is meaningless without an equally respectable queen who sits right beside him, not at his feet.
We live in a culture of disrespect. It’s no longer fashionable to hold anything or anyone as sacred. While mainstream society cheers this as progress toward gender equality, those of us with a Biblical view of relationships are left to stand on the sidelines and watch as people play catch with a hand grenade. We must remind ourselves and others that to devalue uniqueness takes us one step closer to devaluing humanity as a whole. Evolutionists have often tried to convince me that we’re all just meat-sacks, with no future existence, floating together on a giant cosmic accident known as Earth. If that’s true, then you’re absolutely right; why should we respect anyone or anything? On the other hand, if God did make each and every one of us, as his word says, then we are inherently deserving of respect simply because of who our Father created us to be.
One of the first things my girlfriend was careful to mention to me when the subject of family came up was that her dad happened to have a huge gun collection, and he lived near a large bayou which was perfect for dumping bodies. While it was obviously intended to be a joke (seriously, I hope so) she made a great illustration of what God himself says over and over in scripture, which is that a man who disrespects his wife (or any of God’s daughters, for that matter) is subject to the burning wrath of an angry Father. Just because a girl’s earthly father isn’t around to hold you accountable at all times doesn’t mean that you are free from accountability.
Finally, for the men specifically:
Too often we’ve been guilty of standing on the sidelines and watching as our sisters are mistreated and devalued. Even worse, some of us are ourselves guilty of this kind of mistreatment and devaluation. This has to end.
The video below grabbed people by the throat the first time it was seen several years ago. Mark Driscoll, the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, lays it on the line for men in his congregation who might not be living up to the standard God has established for the treatment of his daughters. Please watch it.
Too often we’ve been guilty of standing on the sidelines and watching as our sisters are mistreated and devalued. Even worse, some of us are ourselves guilty of this kind of mistreatment and devaluation. This has to end.
The video below grabbed people by the throat the first time it was seen several years ago. Mark Driscoll, the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, lays it on the line for men in his congregation who might not be living up to the standard God has established for the treatment of his daughters. Please watch it.
When you defend those who are weaker than you, you show respect for their maker. When you remain silent or passive in the face of their oppressors, your silence gives that oppressor permission to continue. Be man enough to stand up for what’s right, whether the woman in question “belongs” to you or not (and here’s a hint: no woman belongs to you, they are God’s. If you show yourself faithful, he will entrust one to you).
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